A Letter From My Husband: Reflecting on That Inescapable Mom Guilt

Getting into his first bday presents early, with turkey on his nose!Every Thursday night, my son spends the night with his grandparents.  We are very fortunate to have this help and support, and my son is incredibly lucky to have grandparents that live close by and want to spend as much time with him as possible.

But every Thursday evening, I do the same thing.  I beat myself up about not having my son with me.  I feel like a bad mom, like I don't do enough for my son, care for him enough or spend enough time with him.  Last week I wanted to drive over, pick him up at midnight from his crib, and take him home.  Could you imagine?!

Last night, I went through my same routine.  I shuffled through old pictur4th of July at my parent's housees of Grayson as a baby.  I re-lived some of the fun and interesting moments with Grayson from the week.

And this morning, I woke up to this message from my husband:

"I wanted to let you know Gray-Gray and I spoke this morning.  He told me he loves you more than anything in the world and is thankful you are his mommy.

He said that he loves when you read to him.  He loves that you take him everywhere and are always thinking about fun and new things for him to wear and do.  He loves that you are so proud of him you always want to show him off.

He is proud of you and likes showing you off too.

While he doesn't want the time to go by too fast, he cannot wait to travel the world with you and be able to talk to you and ask you questions.

He thinks you are the bestest mommy any Gray could ever have."

As moms, we are way too hard on ourselves, so I had to share.  Being a mom is great, but it is also laden with constant guilt.  Guilt for not doing enough, for not being everything to everyone.  Let's take a second to step back and remember, we are enough to them, to our little ones, and that is all that matters...

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Reader Comments (5)

Wonderful piece. I think the relationship with his grandparents is invaluable and you should enjoy the one night you have free! But, I understand the guilt. I was away for one night a month ago and I was upset, my daughter was really upset and it was only one night.

September 14, 2012 | Christina Simon

You make me a little misty-eyed thinking about when my boys were babies and they used to spend overnights at my folks place and even travel with them from time to time. I stressed that I wasn't the one in charge because who can take the place of a mom, right? Then my dad got sick and the trips and the overnights suddenly ended. Take yourself off the hook. You'll thank yourself later.

September 14, 2012 | Cynthia Baseman

How quickly it all goes. I appreciate how you feel. How wonderful too that you get a weekly break.

September 14, 2012 | Mia Johnstone

Great post. Oh, the mommy guilt. I know that one well. But your husband's letter says it all. Your sweet son is so happy and thinks you're the "bestest" how much more validation does a mom need? What a wonderful treat for him to have special time with his grandparents. Seriously. Sadly, grandparents don't last forever, so let him have as much time with them as possible - it's a gift. And then allow yourself to enjoy the alone time, you deserve it :)

September 15, 2012 | Carpool Goddess

So sweet and thoughtful of your husband. You are clearly an amazing mommy and I hope you live up those Thursday nights!

September 15, 2012 | Jordan

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Comments

[Christina Simon]

Wonderful piece. I think the relationship with his grandparents is invaluable and you should enjoy the one night you have free! But, I understand the guilt. I was away for one night a month ago and I was upset, my daughter was really upset and it was only one night.

[Cynthia Baseman]

You make me a little misty-eyed thinking about when my boys were babies and they used to spend overnights at my folks place and even travel with them from time to time. I stressed that I wasn't the one in charge because who can take the place of a mom, right? Then my dad got sick and the trips and the overnights suddenly ended. Take yourself off the hook. You'll thank yourself later.

[Mia Johnstone]

How quickly it all goes. I appreciate how you feel. How wonderful too that you get a weekly break.

[Carpool Goddess]

Great post. Oh, the mommy guilt. I know that one well. But your husband's letter says it all. Your sweet son is so happy and thinks you're the "bestest" how much more validation does a mom need? What a wonderful treat for him to have special time with his grandparents. Seriously. Sadly, grandparents don't last forever, so let him have as much time with them as possible - it's a gift. And then allow yourself to enjoy the alone time, you deserve it :)

[Jordan]

So sweet and thoughtful of your husband. You are clearly an amazing mommy and I hope you live up those Thursday nights!