Nicole Yontz is a parenting writer for WhatToExpect.com and the writer of TheBetterHalfBlogs.com.
My daughter was a surprise in every sense of the word. A great surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. It wasnít a decision we came to mutually; we didnít look at our finances and make sure it was plausible; we didnít make sure we traveled before hand; we didnít consider the effect it would have on our relationship — we just were suddenly pregnant.
Here we are four years later, and we are all happy as a family of clams. Everything worked out, just like it always does. Our marriage is stronger than ever; we were able to afford it financially; and weíve even been able to travel a bit since she was born. We have not lacked in anything since finding out we were pregnant; in fact, our lives are better than we could even imagine. So why have I been so white knuckle paranoid about having another baby?
Two days after Audrey turned two I was at my OB/GYN getting my IUD removed. I was ready! Letís do this! Then when I got into my car I stared to sweat. What am I thinking? We canít have another baby! So why am I panicking now and not when I was pregnant the first time when I had reasons to panic?
If I were to get pregnant today there would be four years between my daughter, Audrey, and the baby. Pro: Audrey will be old enough to help me, like a midget nanny. Con: Audrey was a great sleeper from the get-go; the chances I will have another good sleeper is slim, and I like sleeping. Pro: Audrey will soon be in school full time so I will have more one-on-one time with the baby. Con: There goes my free help. Pro: I am one of five children and I love having siblings. Con: Well, there is no con here; my kid has only child syndrome BAD. She totally needs someone all up in her space.
WhatToExpect.com shares some of these same feelings and thoughts on a second child. It’s been over a year now since that trip to the OB/GYN, and I’m only slightly less panicked than I was back then. In that year I have taken temperatures, countless pregnancy tests, kept notes on my monthly schedule, kept a very strict schedule of our, ahem, private time, and even suffered a devastating miscarriage in September that I wrote about on WhatToExpect.com.
Every month is an emotional roller coaster, and my nerves about breastfeeding and my lack of sleep have given way to nerves about being 36 years old and the fact that it has taken us so long to get pregnant. Where I used to pray for a boy who likes to nap, I now pray for a baby.
So, can I do it again? Sure, I’ve done it before. Will it be draining, exhausting and make me want to crawl in a hole at some point. Of course, it always does. Nobody said newborns were a walk in the park. (And if they do, they are lying.) But it won’t always be. At some point it will be easy (easier) again. I will even sleep again, although I’m sure I won’t ever pee again without an audience. But this time I will be ready; I will be seasoned. I will take it all like a veteran and not be calling the pediatrician for every rash and cough, right? Right??
How did you decide to have another child? Did you find it more nerve wracking the second time?